He’s feeling pushed to do something and he reacts to it by failing. Then it gets worse because he’s so anxious that he can’t concentrate. Then you yell at your child, and your child continues to struggle. You somehow feel responsible to teach him how to ride this bike, and he just won’t cooperate. Your emotions are a combination of frustrated, annoyed, angry, and disappointed. Your child is not getting it and is being whiny and cranky and talks back to you. Let’s say you’re teaching your child how to ride a bike. Think of it this way: if you can’t get calm and in control then you’re creating the exact atmosphere you’re trying to avoid. It’s been proven that a parent’s anxiety about their child contributes significantly to the anxiety of their child. Remember, calm is contagious-and so is anxiety. Here’s a secret: when you get yourself under control, your kids will also usually calm down. I need you to change so that I can feel better. When you try to manage your child’s behavior instead of your anxiety, what you’re saying is, ‘I’m out of control. Fortunately, it’s a skill that parents can learn. This is a critical skill for parents to have. The best way to prevent yourself from losing control is to understand what sets you off and to recognize when you begin to lose control. Parents believe they need to get their kids under control immediately, rather than taking a moment to think, “Wait, let me first get myself under control before I respond to my child.” Too often, parents react to their kids without thinking. When we react emotionally to our kids and lose control, we’re allowing our kids to determine how we behave rather than the other way around. I wish I knew how to solve it permanently.Why is it so difficult to control our anger with our kids? There are many reasons, but I think it’s mainly because we allow ourselves to get angry and lose control. It didn't solve the problem permanently, but logging out of my Windows 10 account and back in is much faster than rebooting, and it's worked so far. When I made that change, Windows 10 had me sign back in, and my controller was back to player 1. The only change I made was switching my Windows 10 account from a local one to an internet one. I thought about why it would suddenly come back as a problem yesterday. I'd reboot my PC, my XInput would be player 1, but if I stopped using it and it powered down, it would come back up as player 2. I had this problem months ago, and then it went away. I post this here for anyone else landing on this thread through Google. I discovered something today that might offer an alternative solution (or maybe a hint at other solutions and causes). I've had this problem, and the suggested solutions were only temporary fixes. I know this is an old thread, but doing a Google search on the problem will pull up this thread at the top of the results.
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January 2023
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